Merilyn's Biography, Transitio
n, Miracle, Cremation, and Spreading of Her Ashes
by Cayelin K Castell (formerly known as Carolyn Brent)
Merilyn's Biography
Merilyn was born in Milwaukee, Wisconsin on September 6, 1933. Her father Dr. Merrill H. Judd (pictured below) was an Army Colonel and Doctor (surgeon) He commanded an Army Hospital in the Panama Canal Zone during World War II. Merilyn spent age 7 to 14 in Panama with her parents and loved it.
(See Article on Merilyn's Grandfather Reverend Hubert O. Judd here and his last sermon on death and resurrection written for Easter Sunday 1931)
Merilyn’s mother Helen Margaret Judd (a.k.a Helen Margaret Hamilton) was a registered nurse who also worked in the Army Hospital in Panama. Merilyn was an only child and had the opportunity to live in many locations during her childhood as Army life often requires. Her favorite years were in Panama.
Merilyn attended Steven’s College in Columbia, Missouri and then transferred to the University of Colorado in Boulder where she received a degree in Journalism. The day after her graduation from college she married her first husband Elwayne Carter on June 11, 1955. Nine months later her first daughter (Carolyn Margaret) was born on March 4, 1956, eighteen months after that her second daughter (Sharon Faye) was born on September 24, 1957.
At the time of her death in August of 1998 Merilyn was survived by her two daughters and their children, daughter Carolyn (n.k.a as Cayelin) her husband at that time Jeff Brent and Cayelin’s children. Cayelin’s children at the time of her death included Ryan who was age 16, Ian and Jenna who were age 13 and Jeremy who was age 8. She was also survived by her youngest daughter Sharon and husband Art with grandchildren Myriah who was age 21 and Kyle who was age 18. Plus she was survived by her two step-daughters Karon and Pam. Karon’s children were Vicki age 28 and Hillary age 19. Pam’s children were Tammy age 25, Cara and Casey age 20.
Merilyn and her first husband, Elwayne Carter, along with Carolyn and Sharon were initiated into the Transcendental Meditation [TM] technique on July 9, 1972. From there Merilyn went on to become a teacher of the technique in 1973. She furthered her studies in 1976 becoming a Governor of The Age Of Enlightenment. Her work with the Transcendental Meditation program was an important part of her life that she was very passionate about. She loved to teach TM and spent many years involved with or running various TM centers.
She divorced her first husband in 1976 and married her second husband Robert Massey July 30, 1977. Robert and Merilyn lived in many places during their 20 years of marriage. Their early years found them in Los Altos, Ca, and San Diego. From there they spent about two years near Austin, Texas and then moved to Richland, Iowa just outside of Fairfield where the TM University, formerly known as Maharishi International University (MIU), was located. There she received her Master’s degree in Professional Writing in 1987. Shortly after receiving her Master’s Degree she and Robert moved to Hawaii. They lived on Kauai and the Big Island before moving to Tucson, Arizona in 1991.
In April, 1996 Merilyn emerged as a Priestess of Celestial Earth and in April, 1997 she emerged as a Magadalene Priestess helping to pioneer the awakening Divine Feminine that was just beginning to emerge into greater conscious awareness at that time. The Awakening the Priestess Process and Magdalene Priestess Process was designed and facilitated by Nicole Christine author of "The Temple Of The Living Earth" and “Under Wings, The Making of a Magdalene”. The Magdalene process grew out of the desire of the priestesses to deepen the work they had begun with the intent to expand the healing work around the split between sexuality and spirituality. Merilyn and her daughter Carolyn (n.k.a. Cayelin) had the unique and sometimes challenging privilege of being in the first Magdalene circle together. Healing the wounds around the Mother/Daughter relationship became part of the work they did together for the benefit of the entire collective. Merilyn’s death continues to expand this work as well. http://www.magdalenemysteries.com/index.html
Thanksgiving morning, 1997 Merilyn’s husband, Robert Massey, died unexpectedly of a massive brain hemmorage. His death took the entire family by surprise. Little did we know that Merilyn was already dying from Cancer at the time of his death. Nine months later almost to the day, Merilyn died a conscious death. Her death process was a powerful initiation for those who were close to her and an amazing gift that also brought great sorrow. She died courageously and consciously. It was quick in many ways and yet the actual process was nearly 40 hours of intense focused breathing as she waited for her daughter Sharon to arrive from Maine.
Her intent was clear and she did not waver. She managed to hang on until Sharon arrived, then about 45 minutes later she triumphantly emerged from the cocoon of her cancerous body as a radiant light being spreading her wings and flying free! Her heroic choice to die consciously was a gift for those who were with her at the time and for those who have read her story over the years since that time. Here is the rest of the story…
Carolyn (now Cayelin) and Merilyn in 1979
Merilyn’s Transition or Conscious Death Process
by Cayelin K Castell (f.n.a. Carolyn Brent)
August 18, 1998 at 4:45 pm Priestess/Magdalene Merilyn Massey transitioned from this life to the next. She died heroically, courageously and most importantly she died consciously. Her conscious death is a gift to us all and I am so grateful that I was there to witness her process. I know I am forever transformed by this amazing initiation. Her intent was clear and her strength was phenomenal. What she accomplished in her death was assisted by all who loved her, and through our prayers and our presence.
This is the story of her death.
Mid-July I learned my Mother, Merilyn, had advanced cancer that had spread from her rectum to her colon, liver and lungs and she was beyond conventional treatment. The official diagnosis came on July 27th, 1998 and she was told she might have a few months to live. In reality, Merilyn only lived 22 more days. Before the diagnosis, Merilyn wouldn’t even consider that she might have cancer. It was as if she couldn’t let herself know how sick she was because once she knew she began to fight for her life, but it was too late, the cancer had progressed throughout her body. Some part of herself, her higher self, had chosen this time to die and there was nothing she could do about it even though she made a heroic attempt to survive.
We were immediately referred to an oncologist, and met with him on August 1st. The oncologist was straightforward, telling us that because her blood hemoglobin was .5 she could go into cardiac arrest at any moment. He felt it was a miracle that she was still alive. On August 3 she had a blood transfusion that perked up her energy and gave her more time to look at alternatives. On August 9 my mother and I traveled to an alternative cancer clinic in Tijuana, Mexico.
As we approached the travel date I found myself going into panic and fear. I wondered if it was the right thing to be doing with her? I could see she was declining day by day and death seemed very close to her. I didn’t know what I would do if she went into cardiac arrest or worse died while we were in Tijuana. I am not medically trained and this was a situation that stretched me far beyond any comfort zones I had ever known. I felt waves of fear wash over me as we packed our bags and went to the airport.
By the time we arrived at the clinic in Tijuana I could see my mother’s strength was waning by the minute. The doctors at the clinic in Tijuana have a great track record for helping cancer patients with no conventional routes of treatment left to them. In my mother’s case however, they confirmed for me that her cancer was advanced way beyond even their ability to help her. The trip to the clinic has exhausting for my Mom and I heaved a huge sigh of relief when we crossed the border and arrived back on the American. I had been told if she died in Mexico it would very difficult to get the body back to the United States.
My intent was to get her home alive, get her as comfortable as possible and then talk to her about how she wanted to handle her death. We arrived home on August 12th and once she was resting comfortably I found there was a perfect opportunity to ask her if she knew she was dying? I was relieved to hear her say yes. We talked about dying consciously and she said that was her desire and she wanted me to help her. She also wanted to see her Magdalene and Priestess sisters.
Jeff (my husband at the time) and I asked her how she felt about her death? “Peaceful” was her immediate reply. I felt a distinct shift in her energy as she finally admitted she was dying. I felt my own energy shift too, and the hard edge of protection I was carrying in response to her fight for life, and her own resulting hard edge, lifted. Before my eyes I began to see her sweetness come through, a kind of innocence and trust that touched me very deeply.
The next day August 13th we established a relationship with Hospice and that afternoon they had delivered a hospital bed and all the supplies we would need. That day we had no idea she would die five days later. We were also blessed with the ability to provide her with excellent round the clock care. This freed me up to still be able to care for my children and to begin the process of contacting family and our Priestess and Magdalene sisters to let them know if they wanted to see her before she died to come as soon as possible.
I didn’t know why at the time, but I did feel an urgency pressing
me to encourage everyone to visit as soon as possible. Even though I sensed her death was close, I realized later I still wasn’t prepared for the swiftness in which it came.
Each day 
she talked less and slept more. I took Jenna and Jeremy to see 
her on Saturday, August 15th and Ryan and Ian on Sunday, August 16th. They each had a chance to tell her they loved her and give her a hug and she was able to return hugs and tell them she loved them. By the next day all that shifted.
On Monday morning (August 17th) when I arrived she was unable to talk and had begun breathing in a way that I later called her death breath. It was a rhythmic breath in and out her mouth that moved the whole upper part of her body She breathed like this for nearly 40 hours. It was apparent that she was working hard to keep that breath going.
That morning she wasn’t able to speak to me. Instead she fixed her eyes on me, staring deeply into my eyes as if she was trying to tell me something. With the intensity of her stare I began to cry. I felt her death was close. I told her I would miss her but it was okay for her to go. As the tears streamed down my face, I told her I would probably cry a lot, because that’s how I am, but I was really happy for her. I also told her my sister (from Maine) was coming and would arrive about 4 pm the next day.
Several miracles occurred around this time. One of them was about an unhealed family situation that was challenging me at a very deep level. A couple of days before Merilyn began her death breath I was praying and asking for help with this situation so that I could show up with integrity and grace. As I prayed and asked for guidance I became aware of the Tibetan Goddess Tara.
A few years earlier a dear friend of mine had introduced me to Tara. Then in 1995 the Tara dances came to town and I was one of the ceremonial dancers. I experienced a profound initiation as a result of performing that dance. When I danced Tara’s praises as mentioned in the cremation story I was unexpectedly given the name Sky Dancer. On August 7, 1998 just two days before we left for Tijuana I participated in another Tara dance. The White Tara dance celebrates the aspect of Tara known as Complete Enlightenment and is the aspect of Tara that is the Sky Dancer. Four days before my mother’s death I asked Tara for help in dealing with this family situation that was growing more difficult for me. Within hours of my prayers, an unexpected source of support came to me and I knew I was now able to genuinely show up for my mother’s transition with the love, integrity, and grace I was desiring.
Jeff and I stayed all day and night with my Mom on Monday August 17. Merilyn’s cousin Bill (my second cousin) arrived on Sunday from Pagosa Springs to show his support. In response to my message, the Magadalenes and Priestesses began arriving with flowers for her room. We picked soothing music and chants to play for her and burned lots of incense. We were all helping to set a beautiful ceremonial space for her transition. The Priestesses and Magadalenes also came to visit and sit with her, sing to her, read to her, meditate with her, and just be with her in her death process.
Our attorney friend came that night to sing the Puja to her and chant a Vedic death chant. Through it all, my Mom kept her hands open and receptive, even when someone tried to place her hand palm down she purposefully turned it palm up and open. My dear friend and sister To-Ree-Nee stayed with me through the night on Monday, and I am forever grateful. She held space with me and for me when I was too exhausted to do it anymore. She did ceremony with me and shared her insights about how conscious my Mom was about this process. I was so grateful for her focus, eloquence, and insights. I know Merilyn was too! I am certain it was the presence of the priestesses, as well as Jeff and I that helped to carry her through the night and the next day. Jeff was amazing. His loving presence and stamina far exceeded mine. He showed up as the magnificent priest he is.
Merilyn’s death process was difficult and challenging in many ways. She was terrifying and beautiful to watch. I was awed by her determination and ability to keep her breath going. I knew she was waiting for my sister. The next morning, as Merilyn’s rhythmic breath continued I was certain she would not die until Sharon arrived later than afternoon, so I went home to check on Ryan who was home from school with a sore throat and get Jeremy off to school. It was a relief to be out of the energy of my Mom’s death process for a couple of hours while I attended to my children.
I felt rejuvenated by the time at home, even though I had only slept in little bits here and there during the night. When I returned, Birke (a priestess sister who had been in my Merilyn’s first circle) was sitting with her. We both sat together and watched my Mom’s labored breathing process. I felt so comforted by Birke's presence and wondered how I would get through the afternoon once she was gone.
Jeff, Sandy (one of my my Mom’s caregivers) and I waited through the afternoon for my sister’s arrival. Somehow the time slowly passed seeming to be almost suspended in a time between time sort of way.
I sat in vigil by my Mom’s bed, reading to her, chanting, and then dancing the dance to mend the sacred hoop at the foot of her bed. From there I moved into what I felt was a death dance or an honoring of the death process. It felt good to move my body after all that sitting. I danced with purpose and intent to create an energy field of harmony and assistance for my Mom’s passing.
Finally, about 4 pm Sharon arrived. I escorted her and her husband into the room, stroked my Mom’s hair, told her Sharon had arrived and this is what she had been waiting for. I told her I loved her, kissed her forehead and left the room to give them time alone with her. About 45 minutes later Jeff came for me, giving me just enough time to get into the room before my Mom left her body. My first instinct was to rushed to the foot of the bed and hold her feet. I found myself spontaneously chanting the Tara mantra, and suddenly I felt I was to move to her right side by her head, sweeping the energy from her feet to the crown of her head. I saw my Mom let out her last breath and felt her as a radiant light being whooshing out the top of her head. I called Tara, Kwan Yin, Mother Mary and Mary Magdalene to receive her, and I I felt I could see them welcoming her with open and loving arms.
My experience was that I was witness to a butterfly emerging from its cocoon. When I was meditating earlier in the day I had seen beautiful, iridescent blue and green butterflies with colorful, playful fairies riding on their backs swoop in over my Mom’s body and sprinkling fairy dust on her, as if they were assisting in giving her the strength to continue her process. I am not one to normally see these kinds of things but the images were so strong and impressed me deeply.
On August 12th my Mom stated her intent to die a conscious death and on August 18th she accomplished her intent. She was aware of everyone who came into the room, even though she could no longer talk or look at anyone. She found ways to communicate, through the squeeze of her hand or how she moved her body. My sister asked her for a sign, either a squeeze from her hand or a blink of her eyes to let my sister know my Mom knew she was there. As my Mom took her last breath she did both, she squeezed Sharon’s hand and blinked her eyes. What was most remarkable about that was she hadn’t blinked her eyes in more than two days. We had tried to close them for her and they just popped back open. Even after her death when we tried to close her eyes they refused to close.
She looked so peaceful even though her body was skeletal and she looked like she had been dead a long, long time. I felt a strong need to do ceremony right away to honor her passing. I did what I could with my sister and her husband sitting on the other side of my Mom’s body. I felt awkward and I knew they were uncomfortable.
I was thinking how much I needed a priestess sister present to assist me and to help me focus the energy still lingering from her transition, but all the priestesses in Tucson had already been to visit. About 15 or 20 minutes later I was surprised to hear a knock on the door. When I answered it there stood Phoenix Magdalene Divina del Sol. I was never happier to see her. I told her how perfect her timing was, and she agreed to help me do ceremony with my Mom’s body anchoring the connection of the Magadalenes and Priest/esses with Merilyn on the other side.
We went back into my Mom’s room and began. Divina felt strongly that my Mom would be working closely with us all in the dreamtime. Unbeknownst to Divina, Bonnie Gaia had already had a dream she had shared with the Tucson Magdalene circle about Merilyn connecting with us in the dreamtime before she died. I know she is an ally for us all on the other side if we choose to connect with her.
Merilyn Communicates From the Other Side
On Monday morning after I told Merilyn that my sister was on her way, I was kidding around with her and saying we should have figured out a way for her to signal us from the other side. She was beyond responding to me through words, but she looked at me intently for a long time.
A couple of days before she died Jeff had turned on her computer to pick up her e-mail. At that time everything was working perfectly. The day after her death, Jeff turned on her computer to look for the intention statement she wrote when she began her priestess process, because I had remembered this beautiful piece she had written about becoming a butterfly.
We didn’t find the intention statement but what we did find was the date on every document on the computer was now reading 1956, the year I was born. We knew this was my Mom sending us a message from the other side. Jeff tried to fix the date back to current time but eventually we had to erase the hard drive and reformat it to remove the 1956 date out of her computer.
I included an update on July 31, 2001 in Merilyn's Guest Book (now located here) when there was another 1956 synchronicity.
Magic Happens! Thanks Mom! What are the odds that I would check into this site...it has been several weeks since I have been here...and just so happen to be visitor number 1956. I am not even sure why I felt called to bring up this site at this time and I find it amazing especially when considering it has been almost three years since we posted the site that I would actually visit the site when the number of visitors showing is 1956.
It is also synchronistic in that I had just shared with someone in a class I was taking about how your computer had shown every single document and program with the date of 1956 the first time we turned it on after you died, and how I knew that was a message for me since I was born in 1956. I am grateful to know we are still in the magic of our shared connection and it is especially timely for me after being so close to another priestess sister's death from Cancer this past month. I'll just bet you and JanIs Garnet are delighting over this!!! Holding you both big with lots of love and gratitude...
The Gift of Merilyn’s Death
I feel Merilyn’s transition is a gift for us all. She was so conscious and purposeful. I am also realizing she chose this path about two years ago and knew she could not let her conscious mind know. Once she consciously knew she had cancer she began a fight for her life, but it was too late, her fate was in motion and there was no turning back. When I read a prayer to her from The Tibetan Book Of Living and Dying as she continued her death breath, she squeezed Jeff’s hand when I got to the last line. We both knew it was her way of letting us know she was excited about the prayer.
The prayer has undergone a few revisions, since then but retains its power and potency.
Conscious Death Prayer from The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying by Guru Rinpoche
adapted by Carolyn Brent (n.k.a. Cayelin Castell)
Envisioning and invoking a presence of light embodying truth, wisdom, love and compassion (i.e. Kwan Yin, Mother Mary, Jesus, Buddha, Healing Angels, etc.) pray thus:
Holy Divine Mother
Through your blessing, grace, and guidance,
through the power of the light that streams from you:
All my negative karma, destructive emotions, obscurations and blockages are purified and transformed, I know myself forgiven for all the harm I have ever thought or done,
I accomplish this profound practice of conscious death and surrender, and die a good and peaceful death, And through the triumph of my death, I benefit all beings,
in all realms and dimensions through out time and space and beyond,
and through this conscious death and surrender,
a new Earth is birthed into a Golden Age
of love, joy, beauty, harmony, peace, plenty, illumination and Sacred Union with all that is.
I give thanks this is done and this is so and all Heaven and Earth rejoice. Blessed Be!
Indeed, Merilyn did die a good and peaceful death that benefited all beings in all realms and dimensions. I respect her death and her choice to be so very conscious. Her death was a demonstration of true courage and love! Thank you all for being such an important part of this profound initiation.
I am so grateful to Gina Dawn for showing up and helping me to focus on the details after Merilyn’s passing. I am grateful to everyone who has shown up to help either through their energetic support or just by being present through this process as it continues to unfold. Through all of this I have learned once again that family is not created by blood but by commitment. Our commitment to each other as a community, as family and as priest/esses, in all of life’s initiations, is a gift I appreciate more each day. Merilyn’s death has birthed a more conscious sense of community and how we can all show up Here and Now as conscious participants in how we live and die and support each other. The story of Merilyn’s cremation and the miracle associated with it confirms we are indeed dreaming and living a new reality!
The Miracle of Merilyn's Death Continues
By Carolyn Brent (n.k.a. Cayelin Castell)
One of Merilyn's personal desires in her life was to write stories that entertained and inspired. This was something she didn't really get a chance to do as much as she would have like to while she was alive, so it is my hope that the story of her death and cremation will help to fulfill her desire to inspire others. I know I am inspired and awed by the magic of these events.
Sep 1996 Magdalene Initiation Front Row: Merilyn, Catherine, Nicole Back Row: Spirit Dancer, Karen, Me, Gina Dawn, Beth, and Bonnie Gaia (Missing are Linda/Kai and Sereena)
Merilyn is my Mother. We had the great fortune of being in a priestess community together. When she became a priestess a few short months after me, I addressed the card I gave her To My Sister Mom! From then on she always signed her notes and cards to me as Sister Mom. We were the first Mother/Daughter priestesses in our network and we were the first to also be in a circle together that formed as the process continued to grow. In the story that follows I mention our priestess sisters who have shown up beautifully in many ways to honor her life and death.
August 25th Merilyn Helen Judd Massey was cremated. Several of us gathered to honor her and the burning of her body in the alchemical fire of transformation. Unbeknownst to us, we were also about to witness a miracle. I had brought Merilyn's Kwan Yin statue to the ceremony (the symbolism and significance of Kwan Yin is explained a bit more in the rest of the story). For no apparent reason we can discern the statue began forming beads of water around the vase in Kwan Yin's hand. Until now this was simply a beautiful, but otherwise ordinary statue. This statue of Kwan Yin, depicts her standing on a dragon with a jar or vase in one hand perched over the dragon's open mouth, and the beads of water were dripping directly into the dragon's mouth. (Year’s later I learned this statue is actually designed to drip water like this however I didn’t know that at the time I wrote this…and the statue had never dripped water to my knowledge before this time)
I don't know much about this statue or even where my Mom got it. What I do know is this. The statue was in my Mother's bedroom in her home. I noticed it sitting on a dresser when were moving her from her old home to an apartment in July, 1998. My Mom was very clear that she didn't want any of her altar items or things from her past to go with her to her new apartment. Yet, each time I passed by this Kwan Yin statue I had a strong sense she wanted to come with us. Finally, I could no long ignore the message and I mentioned it. My Mom agreed Kwan Yin could come to her new place. I know Kwan Yin watched over the entire process of my Mom's transition.
After my Mom died a few days later we were moving her things out of the apartment. I carefully wrapped Kwan Yin up and put her in a box, where she was until I took the statue still wrapped to the cremation ceremony. I unwrapped the statue and placed her on the altar. It was sometime later when we were drumming and chanting that I noticed a bead of water forming on the vase in Kwan Yin's hand. I paused, looked closer and wondered if this bead of water had spilled from somewhere. However, as we continued to watch the statue it continued to form new beads of water throughout the ceremony. I took the statue home and it continued to drip for several days after the ceremony. I emptied the water from the statue many times anointing everyone in the vicinity with the holy water. The statue continued to have water in it and even to this day (now 10 years later) there is still water in the statue.
One of my priestess sisters shared with me during the cremation ceremony that she too had wanted to ask Merilyn to signal us from the other side. We all felt this is exactly what Merilyn was doing. Kwan Yin is the Chinese name for Tara, and in the west she is Mother Mary, all representing the compassionate Mother who brings relief to those who suffer. Another sacred sister shared a dream she had about this very thing. In her dream she got the sense that the Lotus Flower Kwan Yin is holding in her other hand is supplying the nectar that is dripping from the vase. The nectar of the Lotus represents complete enlightenment* and it is feeding the dragon which represents the world of time and space where we live when we are in physical form. The nectar of complete enlightenment dripping into the dragon's mouth also represents the fulfillment of Celestial Earth. In Bonnie's dream Merilyn appeared to her in the form of a ruby rose colored bird and she told Bonnie that this complete enlightenment is what she is experiencing all the time now.
One of my priestess sister's said she felt this was a sign of nourishment and being on track as the statue is not crying tears but rather is feeding or nourishing the dragon. I trust more will reveal itself around this symbolism and what is apparent now is that we are witness to an amazing miracle. The miracle of Merilyn's conscious death and her communication with us from the other side is inspiring. I feel this is a great confirmation about Merilyn's commitment to continue to work with us and link with us from the other side. Thank you Mom, I really love you!!!
Blessed Be! Carolyn Sky Dancer (n.k.a. Cayelin Castell)
*In October, 1995 I had the privilege of participating in the 21 praises of Tara Dance. The aspect of Tara given to me to dance was Complete Enlightenment and as a result the name Tara gave me was Sky Dancer. Thus, the theme of complete enlightenment is even more personally significant to me and especially when considering the close connection between Tara and Kwan Yin.
Merilyn’s Ashes (the story continues)
A tribute by Carolyn (n.k.a Cayelin)
My intent in spreading my Mom’s ashes was to do so as consciously and purposefully as possible. It just so happened I was assisting in setting up a gathering that was planned at Faywood Hotsprings, between Deming and Silver City, New Mexico, to celebrate the Autumnal Equinox and the new Standing Stone Circle recently and intentionally built to honor the connection between land and sky. When this gathering was first planned in January of 1998, I had no idea the activation would also involve the ceremonial spreading of mother’s ashes.
T
his standing stone circle was built by the owner of Faywood and had been under construction for at least two years. When Daniel and I gathered there with a group at the 1997 Winter Solstice the Standing Stone Circle was not yet quite complete. Four stones still need to be set in place. By mid 1998 the 12 outer stones were all in place and the circle was complete. As the Autumnal Equinox approached I began to realize the synchronicity of the timing of my Mom’s death and the opportunity to use her ashes as a part of the ceremonial activation for this new stone circle. I knew the standing stones were calling me to bring her there.
I began to see how certain pieces were fitting together. The year before, in the summer of 1997 I traveled to Scotland with a group led by Daniel Giamario. It was a shamanic journey connected with my livelihood and soul’s work. It was a part of my continuing experiential education to work with land and sky. However, going to Scotland also took me back to my genetic roots (and vast Celtic ancestry), and I knew this was more than an experiential expansion of my knowledge about the As Above, So Below mysteries. I knew this journey was also connected to a life agreement I had made prior to coming into this life to heal the family and collective lineage. I began consciously working with this awareness two years prior and as a result a clear intention statement connected to my Scotland journey emerged. Here is part of that statement.
This journey further activates my own ancient lineage deeply connected to the stones and land of Scotland, my own connection to the As Above, So Below mysteries. The mystery and magic, with in these lands and stones, further deepen my process of remembering. I journey to connect with the ancient wisdom. I journey to connect the past and future in the here and now. I journey to bridge what was, with what is, and what is emerging, in a way that creates a fresh, vital aliveness, and a strengthened sense of conscious co-creation with the great mystery. I give thanks that it is done, and it is so, and I am deeply grateful. Blessed Be!
What happened in Scotland was beyond my wildest imaginings. Deep ancestral healing was evident by what happened there. These events are worthy of their own story, but for now what is most important for this story is how my connection with the Standing Stones enlivened within me an even greater awareness of their importance of the planet and therefore in our lives. Being with these massive structures, placed thousands of years ago, stirred feelings in me beyond my current ability to express in words. I just knew and felt their power and significance was important to us all. I felt the stones had called me back to Scotland and would continue to work through me even after I left.
What I find astonishing is this newly built Standing Stone Circle at Faywood carries a similar energy as the ancient Scotland stone circles. This Faywood Stone Circle, built at the turning of a 26,000 year age, feels to me to be a portal for the incoming energies. As the Autumnal Equinox grew closer I was feeling the energy of the gathering and the stones. I felt the Standing Stones calling us to gather in ceremonial celebration at the Autumnal Equinox balance point, as the turning of the season signaled our move between the worlds, between the ages, between realities, and between paradigms.
In ancient times, Standing Stone circles were built to track the seasonal cycles, marking these energetic shifts and connecting the Great Above with the Great Below. Some believe the ancient stone circles were literally gateways to other worlds, to other times and other places. Some say they were used to link energy grids on the earth and were also used to relay messages from place to place. Today, many are remembering the great mysteries and teachings the Standing Stones carry, and therefore remembering our living relationship with Earth and Sky.
The Faywood Standing Stones have been carefully placed on the land to capture special features of the celestial cycles and thus are alive with purpose, acting as a connecting link between the celestial and the earthly. The Great Above connects with the Great Below through us and through the stones. It is time to remember and re-awaken to what we already know and the stones act as a powerful catalyst. As we gather in ceremonial celebration in the Standing Stones we have a unique opportunity to be a living witness and participants in dreaming the emerging myths and symbols for these times.
About two weeks before the Autumnal Equinox I personally experienced a powerful initiation awakening another level of remembering my ancient Egyptian lineage. (This Egyptian connection was also deepened in Scotland where at the great Callanish circle I was given a ring with special unique symbols that had been purchased in Karnak, Egypt from an unexpected Egyptian past life reconnection.)
In early September, 1998, Thoth, a prominent Egyptian God appeared to me in a vision. I didn’t know much about who he was, until I later researched him and discover his links with The As Above, So Below mysteries and Alchemy. My encounter with Thoth enlivened a memory of a council I identified as the Council of 12 Plus One. It later occurred to me that the Standing Stone Circle at Faywood Hotsprings are an outer world expression of this council. At Faywood, 12 stones surround a single stone in the center.
In The Emerald Tablets Of Thoth (an unexpected gift given to me shortly after my Thoth encounter) I came across a single passage that let me know I was on the right track. A few days before leaving for Faywood I automatically opened The Emerald Tablets to find, in the fourth paragraph on page 69, Thoth describing the key to “Shamballa.” The pertinent line is as follows “…open thou the way of the twelve and the one, so I may pass to the realm of wisdom…”
Even before I had discovered these links I knew I was taking my Mother’s ashes to be a part of the new stone circle. I felt these experiences were emerging to help me understand the significance of this action. Through my Magadalenes sister Gina Dawn, the universe asked me to write another intention statement about the Standing Stones of Faywood. Gina and I are profoundly linked in the commitment to evolve the lineage of humanity, and have each played important roles for each other in catalyzing our understanding about how this is emerging for us. Here is part of that intention.
I decree the dissolution and transformation, of the old fear based, limiting patterns held by my genetic lineage and the collective lineage. What no longer serves dies and is surrendered to this death process and nourishes the new life unfolding.
I felt by placing Merilyn’s ashes with the stones I was symbolically working with the transformative, nourishing power of the ashes. Literally ash is used as fertilizer for growing healthy plants. What was… then becomes the food and nourishment for what is coming into form. The intention statement goes on to say…
Like the bones that remain from the ancient past, I claim the structural wisdom of the ancient lineage of all humans to support and uplift this turning of the great wheel.
When we spread my mother’s ashes I was surprised to find many bits of bone.
The mystery and magic emerging at this great turning of the Galactic Wheel is coded into these stones. We are remembering our place within the big picture and the great mystery. I am linked with the ancient wisdom of past, present and future. The stones are our allies and assist us in a collective transcendence of the ancestral wounds, limitations, and fears of the past. These old patterns no longer need be carried by anyone.
Their death brings us new life and we honor their passing and the gifts these patterns have brought to us. Through the alchemical death of these patterns a healing vibration moves out in all directions—past, present and future. A new vibration, a new vision and a new consciousness resonating with wholeness, love and freedom is activated and vitally alive within each of us now. Past, present and future unite in a healing dance, spinning and weaving the beautiful magic of pleasure and love into our reality with each step. And the remembering, the wholeness of who we truly are is deepening, expanding and uplifting us all. It is done. With Gratitude all life rejoices. Blessed Be!
Again my Mother’s ashes represented the symbolic death of these patterns and the birth of a new life fulfilled in love and joy.
As if the universe wanted to further confirm my sense of what do to with my Mother’s ashes, my best friend and sister of my heart arrived unexpectedly from Hawaii to accompany me to the stones. I have known Indigo for more than half of my life. Merilyn always was amazed at how alike we are. She thought of Indigo as her daughter too, and Indigo thought of her as another Mom figure in her life. Indigo’s mother died of cancer two years before my Mom, and so Merilyn’s death hit her deeply. On the first day of The Nine Days of Mother Divine (a Vedic celebration), Indigo and I called in our Mothers from the center of the stone circle.
Underneath the dark, velvety, vast, expansive Southeastern New Mexico skies we sang, prayed, stated our intentions, read poetry (written by Indigo) while honoring and celebrating our Mothers’ lives and their deaths. We went to each stone and called in the archetypal essence of the stone. Then we placed Merilyn’s ashes in a circle around the stone, before proceeding to the next stone. When we finished spreading all her ashes around the 12 and around the one in the center, we stood hand in hand looking up at the moonless, star filled night. Indigo asked our Mothers for a sign that they were well pleased with our ceremony and that it was complete and in divine order. She asked them to send us a shooting star that we would both see, thus confirming for us it was a message from them. Less than two minutes passed before a bright streak lit up the sky. Indeed, we both saw it and danced with glee. Shooting stars had been very few that night and we did not see anymore as we made our way back to where we were staying. It was well after mid-night when we laid down to sleep. We were surprised to realize we had been in ceremony for more than three hours.
What we did that night was the first of three personal activations that took place with the stones. We honored the stones with Merilyn’s ashes the first night. The next day I honored them with salt from the paradise island of Kauai. And on the third morning I honored them with water from sacred sites around the world. The next evening, on the Equinox, the group gathered for a ceremonial activation of the stones. Synchronistically, we had exactly 12 people in our circle, plus one who went to the nearby City Of Rocks park to link with us from there. Again, I feel the language I know at this time, can not adequately capture the magic and the mystery we all co-created. The great wheel continues to turn as does our awareness turn with it. We are the dreamers, dreaming what is coming into form. We are dreaming the dream into reality.
The ceremonial spreading of Merilyn’s ashes as it all took place is beyond my ability to fully comprehend. It feels like an important fulfillment of my commitment to honor, acknowledge and evolve my own ancestral lineage along with the collective. I am deeply grateful for all my ancestors. Each one has journeyed before me paving the pathway that allows me the opportunity to be where and who I am now. May we all remember to honor our ancestors and our lineage with the intent of evolving it forward with love and compassion. My Mom’s transition from this life to the next has accelerated and assisted in this evolutionary process. And I am grateful to her for my life and these experiences.
Read the Guest Book entries from the original website. Also See Article on Merilyn's Grandfather and Cayelin's Great Grandfather Reverend Hubert O. Judd here and his last sermon on death and resurrection written for Easter Sunday 1931